Thursday, 27 October 2016

I'll Be Misunderstood...................

Now, we know I don't write about work but I have to share this little gem with you.

I won't go into the details of my place of employment, largely because I don't want to give them any publicity whatsoever but also because some people get very hormonal about it if I write about work in a negative light. However, I will have to tell you that it is a university, just so that you can understand where the following, mind-bendingly ridiculous conversation originated. However, I want to make it clear that it is a university that I in no way endorse and which, as far as I am concerned, exists solely to keep me in over-priced jackets.

I was asked to make a phone call to a mental health nursing home. I won't bore you with the reasons for it. Just drink in the delights of the following exchange;

Random Person Answering The Phone: Hello?

Me: Hello, it's Stephen from ..........University...

RPATP: What?

Me: My name is Stephen, I'm calling from ...............University?


Me: Stephen from .............University...

RPATP: Happy Anniversary?

Me: (Hopefully inaudible sigh)........Can I speak to ............?



RPATP: Happy Holidays?

Me: No......can I speak to ............?

RPATP: I don't know who you are talking about, and I'm watching a film which is a better use of my time. Goodbye.

This really happened. I emailed the person I needed to speak to. I'm still a bit taken aback by this. I know my speech can sometimes be a little too quick, and that, allied to my St Helens accent can sometimes make me a little bit difficult to understand. Certainly, I write with a lot more clarity and confidence than I speak. There are many, many people who will testify to this given the amount of pure shite I come out with on an average day. Yet it is clear that his person was, shall we say, a 'service user' who may or may not be in total control of their faculties. I am not so difficult to understand as this and if I am, well I quit.

Moving swiftly on from this nonsense, let's bash The Sun for a bit. Last week they demanded an apology from and/or the sacking of Match Of The Day presenter and crisp peddler Gary Lineker. Why? Because he had the audacity to tweet his vile sympathetic views towards asylum seekers. Now, apart from the folly of slating Lineker for having some human decency (one Twitter user pilloried him for having the audacity to have these views whilst also failing to be a poor person himself), what the fuck does this have to do with his ability to present Saturday night football highlights? It seems that the abhorrent snot-rag that is The Sun now cannot tolerate anyone who isn't a self-centred racist operating in public life. Even if their presence in public life extends only to crisp adverts and providing the links ahead of Steve Bower's commentary on Crystal Palace vs Hull City!

No wonder it is still possible, at the time of writing, for Donald Trump to be the next President Of The United States. Just for fun, and because I'm feeling particularly lazy and utterly dumfounded by today's events, here's a link to a Guardian article about the time Trump helped conduct the draw for the League Cup, then known as the Rumbelows Cup...

I'm off to Blackpool to see the lights tonight. Helen and I went every year as kids but Emma and I have been only sparingly since we've been together. I was going to just drive her straight there from work like a hopeless romantic such as myself would, but I had reckoned without the fact that we would have had to go back home to feed Moewinckel first. So I had to tell her in advance so that we could leave him enough food to be going on with until we get back. My next entry may or may not make mention of Blackpool lights then. Do come back.....

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